final straw
that's it man. i'm sick and tired of giving in. and compromising: compromising my time, compromising my values, compromising myself. when i said that i had low expectations, i didnt mean zero expectations. i guess i'm making a big thing out of nothing. i dont deny that. but there had been too many 'nothing's for me to be able to ignore. i cant stand being taken for granted. and the most irritating thing of all is that i put myself in those situtations, knowingly or otherwise. fuck! i'm going to stop doing that. stop allowing others to take me for granted. stop putting myself in compromising situations. stop being so freaking obliging. unlike some friends, i wont feel guilty for blowing up at people. and i wont regret reacting a certain way. because they are all expressions of how i feel here and now so am not going to curb them in any way. i'm not so much pissed as being disappointed. and the latter is worse since i get over being angry quite quickly. sometimes, i wish that i could take things as they are but being me, it's not quite possible. especially for all the people i love and care for, there's only so much i can take before losing my temper. for others, i just cant be bothered. nevertheless, i will draw the line at being rude. still, there is a pronounced difference being really concerned and being civil. am i trying to prove a point? perhaps. and i aim to rub the point in. cos i'm sick of being little ms nice.
jacq | 3:22:00 PM
...............
...............