cry
i need to get a grip of myself. i've cried every single day since fri. whether conscious or not. i know crying is therapeutic but doing it so often makes me really tired (or maybe i'm just tired to begin with). and it's quite funny cos watching 'honey' made me emotional. when there's not much of a plot to speak of. although i love the dancing. i guess dance and music are very parts of me even though i can do neither. at least the sick feeling at the pit of my somach is slowly diminishing now. overall, i just have this feeling of emptiness. i'm not sure if it's because she's leaving or he's no longer surprising or i suddenly feel that my life is quite meaningless. but i have always loved the frivolity of my life. i think my parents would think that i'm mad if they walk into me like this. feeling empty and jaded are the two worst emotions one can ever experience. i've been and still am an optimistic person. and feeling such already sucks to the core when i'm feeling them occasionally. cant imagine how pessimists live.
i want to find something or someone or someplace to make me laugh again. anything that makes this unexplicable sense of loss go away.
jacq | 2:33:00 PM
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