counting my chickens
this semester has been a crappy one in general. i dont feel any sense of relief when my papers are over like i used to. expectations. the one word that makes me push myself more and (hopefully) forward. that plus being perfectionistic. in that sense, i'm high strung.
anw, my target grade for this sem doesnt seem attainable at the current point of time. i know that i shld be satisfied for my comms grade considering the amount of actual work i put into the course. could have been worse but. i dare not put too much hope in LTB. i had a fun and enriching time working with my group. but everyone seems hung up on the fact that we didnt have any conflict (what is the world coming to? trying to make people get into conflicts for the sake of learning. sheesh!) as for stats, i have no doubts abt my abilities in math. hate the subj although i've always been able to do pretty ok in it. however, my class has crazy people who score full marks like nobody's biz. shittified. i'm keeping my fingers crossed that i didnt screwup QM that much. since i've paid attention to a grand total of 2 seminars and had been a vacant, empty shell - being physically present but otherwise absent - for the whole term. and i refuse to count the number of stupid mistakes i've made for today's paper - heart wrenching. let's not even go into FA shall we? i'll just say that i'm willing to fork out good money should i have my own biz in future to hire real accountants. i need divine intervention from ALL religions and i may not even scrap through it.
i'm turning into a result-obsessed bitch and i'm not proud of it. i cant wait for week 19 so that i can finally have closure for this sucky sem (with hopefully decent grades or grades atrocious enough to have to re-do). i marvel at the fact that i'm pushing myself on. because i'm not seeing any big picture. i've never really got close to seeing it all my life.
partially psychotic, inevitably insane and becoming berserk.
jacq | 10:46:00 PM
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