not on par
the worst way to end the day: doing badly in the subject that you're not supposed to do well in but neither supposed to do badly in. so i've not been the most attentive or hardworking student and on a scale of one to ten, i'm at at least six of deserving the grade. still, there has always been this glimmer of desperate hope that you can do okay even if the grade turns out to be average. that little bit of optimism is dashed as i stare at the taunting grade on my computer screen.
'you deserve it!' three words that has been resounding in my mind as i tried hopelessly to push them away. i'm utterly jaded. maybe i'm really not cut out for a university education. no matter how hard i try - to stay optimist, to put in that bit of extra effort to try and compensate - i fall behind. fuck! i dont even aim to be amongst the top. why is being on par so freaking hard? so now, i absolutely need the school to burn down. cos there's just no way that i can even score anything for the remaining subjects with results unknown to neutralise this horrendous mark.
sigh... and it has been a good day spent earlier on with my roxy bestest friend and my daughter. damn!
jacq | 11:01:00 PM
...............
...............