sorting out
from the west wing season two (the leadership breakfast) -
Toby Ziegler:
This is what my ex-wife and I did for years. We had these rules. We could talk about anything but why we couldnt live with each other.
Leo McGarry:
Jenny and I wouldnt talk about it either. You know why?
Toby:
Why?
Leo:
Because we loved each other and it was awful. And we knew it was never gonna change. Ever.
probably, no one in the right mind would want their r/s(s) with others to be complex. simplicity (even by the word itself) is so much more soothing. but fate has its strange ways of messing up our lives. when we least expect. how cliche. i look back and ask myself over and over again when the heck am i subjecting myself to all these crap. when giving up is the more clear-cut and straight forward course of action. funny how i tell myself not to psycho-analyse it so often and i'm still doing so. just that the psycho-analysis became so part of everything that it doesnt even feel like i'm psycho-analysisng anymore. actually, it's not entirely a bad thing that i'm not having anyone to share it with. after the whole episode with my crappy results and only one of all who i talked to could get it that i didnt need anyone to tell me that it's ok and there's always next year; because at that precise moment, it is not okay to me and i just want to rant. anws, my whole point is that trying to make people understand is going to be way harder than pyscho-analysis.
much as i try to pigeonhole thnigs in my life, this is one aspect that will forever remain on the plane of unclassifiable. i guess you could say that i feel a sense of accomplishment that i'm no longer bothered by it. largely, a lot of things can be deemed as escapism. but also because it's so much more than words can put forth. we could possibly reached the plateau of our friendship to the point of stagnation. but i'm eternally grateful for all the lessons i gathered and the falls i took in the process. this is what growing up is about.
jacq | 2:55:00 PM
...............
...............