"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle,
which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting."
4 names you go by: - jacq - jacWong - jacqueline - jacqabong
4 things that scare you: - heights - people i love dying - horror movies - being cynical and jaded
4 of your everyday essentials: - mobile phone - wallet - iPod - iBook
4 things you are wearing right now (i'm in class :P): - white knee-length skirt - orange top - my trusty nike corduroy jacket - slippers
4 of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment): -as seen below, i have erratic music tastes
4 favorite songs (at the moment): - i'm no superman by lazlo bane (too much scrubs :D) - sweet baby by macy gray - freestyler by bomfunk mc - cant stand me now by the libertines
4 things you want in a relationship (other than real love): - honesty/trust - ability to be totally vulnerable to each other - seeing beyond all the arguments and fights/acceptance of each other's faults - excitment/surprises
4 truths: - my family is damn important to me - i always wonder how my friends can stand being with me, and love them for that - i get even, so much more fun than getting mad - i intend to be a tai-tai for two years
4 physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex): - eyes - smile - height (which seems utterly elusive) - shoulders
4 of your favorite hobbies: - eat - watch tv/read - hanging out with friends - shop
4 things you want really badly - time - cash - the dedication to stick to an exercise regime - sleep
4 places you want to go on vacation: - i intend to tour the world in my two years as a tai-tai :p
4 things you want to do before you die: - be a positive, sustained influence for the people around me - ensure that the people i love are sufficiently provided for - try out as many extreme sports as possible - have a kid (to leave some sorta legacy behind. hahas...), either by adoption, artificial insemination, or getting married
4 ways that you are stereotypically a dude/chick: - i bitch (a lot) - i can really talk (non-stop) - i like to shop - i am female (?)
4 things you are thinking about now: - finance reminds me of FA, which is so blah - should i eat lunch later - reading or watching tv tonight? hmmms... - i really dont get all the amortization shit
4 stores you shop at: - m)phosis - haberdasher - anywhere with bargins - anything that catches my attention for the moment
jacq | 10:16:00 AM
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Sunday, July 30, 2006
in my face
i happened to wake up and smell the coffee this morning, thanks to my very straight-talking dad. with a little bit of financial analysis, he have decided that he would require a monthly contribution of $1k (and that's not including my mum) from me when he retires. which is 12 years from now. which means i have 9 years to work on achieving the targetted amount after graduating.
meaning i have to make enough to cover at least $2k worth. to give my parents. and this is not taking into account future value of money.
of course, i know that if i do not have the means to give them that amount, they are not going to force it upon me. and my poor brother has only 6 years after graduation to reach the target. still, it will be nice to be able to provide for them the expected amount. gah! me and my sense of responsibilites.
crap! it's going to require a lot of brain power to work out how much i should earn by then. now i know where i got my in-your-faceness from. definitely from mr wong. anyhows, i predict i will be overwhelmed by debts if i dont start financial planning soon.
i so refuse to grow up.
jacq | 1:54:00 PM
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Saturday, July 29, 2006
chances
life is all about taking chances and giving it your all with little considerations of what may happen in the future. true, these chances could very well bite you on your ass. but if you are very lucky, thses chances pay off and you reap tremendous rewards that you began to find yourself silly for thinking so much initially.
i took a chance in this and i am damn glad i did.
jacq | 1:37:00 PM
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Friday, July 28, 2006
somebody else's eyes
from scrubs season 1 (my nickname) -
J.D.'s Narration: Sometimes the only way to take a really good look at yourself is through someone else's eyes. If you're lucky, you'll like what you see. Or you'll learn from it. If you don't like what you see, I guess all you can do is hope that you haven't burned too many bridges.
-- one tends to make the most revealing and surprising discoveries when she least expect it. i appreciate the honesty, the candidness, of pointing out my character flaws. although not exactly ignorant of them, i didnt quite see them the way they have been seen by others. funny enough, you dont have to tell me that this wont change how you feel towards me. because we're far too close for me to ever think that this would change our friendship.
looks like i have a lot of growing up to do.
jacq | 6:52:00 PM
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Thursday, July 27, 2006
being a good student
i dont use my brains in class. in fact, i dont think i use my brain much when it comes to academia. blindly accepting, hardly questioning. still smoking my way through after one year.
jacq | 10:01:00 AM
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Tuesday, July 25, 2006
square one
consoling, encouraging, scolding, mentioning, not mentioning, nagging, being matter of fact, trying to sugarcoat, attempting to look on the bright side, shoving the truth in your face. i've tried everything already. so can you please tell me why are we still at square one?
call me insensitive, unfeeling, what have yous. but until you figure out what YOU want from it all, there is no one who can help you.
i can be a pillar of support but if you continue to jump into the abyss, other than jumping in with you (which i would if i had to), there is nothing else i can do or say because all have been said and done.
let's see, 4 quizzes, 1 project and 1 final exam. all in 4 weeks. i feel so freaking cheated. i thought there wasnt supposed to be any projs during summer term. and today marks the end of one third of week one.
totally caught no ball during seminar. and i am supposed to be presenting some proj through some analysis of some database in the form of some report soon. plus I HAVE NO TEXTBOOK (but refuse to pay 50 bucks for something that i will never use again after four weeks.)
what the heck have i gotten myself into again?? gah!
jacq | 9:50:00 PM
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Sunday, July 23, 2006
the wardrobe shouts:
jacqueline, you are a freaking shopaholic!!
and i totally agree with its sentiment. i WILL swear off buying stuff i dont need for the rest of the year. no matter how pretty, or enticing, or cheap, or in my face.
jacq | 10:57:00 PM
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anything is possible.
jacq | 3:08:00 PM
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Friday, July 21, 2006
philip k. dick
Yet the struggle goes on, the fight continues. Against what? Ultimately, Powers, Principalities, Thrones, and Dominations, often contained in hosts who are they themselves victims, prisoners, manipulated men and women...
... because that which is left of a Phil Dick story when the details have been forgotten is a thing which comes to me at odd times and offers me a feeling or a thought; therefore, a thing which leaves me richer for having known it." ~Roger Zelazny
i've never been a big sci-fi fan but after reading minority report, i was hooked. (the novel version is almost completely different from the movie though.) the scariest thing of all is that after reading it, notions which only seemed plausible at the beginning, start becoming possible.
am i being manipulated at every turn of the page? or are the alternate universes painted by the writer demostating the divide between humanity and the intricacies of its creations being true to life? or as Zelazny mentioned, maybe all are just documentations of characters, not quite unlike you and me, and the lack of certainty of whether "they will leave the world with less evil than they found there."
i am so captured.
jacq | 4:09:00 PM
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friends like these...
we grew older, more frivolous, less fit; but ultimately still the same odac girlies. that, i dont ever wanna change.
to eat with, in front of the singapore river. i mean literally dapao all the way there just to sit in front of the river and eat. totally unexpected, absolutely random, only the ever lovable liduanyi. she alone can make my uninteresting life light up.
speaking of eating, i need to start dieting in preparation of someone's grand return in dec. plus saving plans. i can foresee waistline expanding and bank account going into deficit.
when words no longer comfort and ideas run out, the only thing i hope for is that my presence make a difference to her.
i may have to kiss many frogs to be able to (or not) locate that elusive prince but i've already found the one to run to whenever i'm feeling lost, small and vulnerable, the absolute darling.
with friends like these, what more can i ask for? :)
jacq | 1:11:00 PM
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Wednesday, July 19, 2006
wanted: flings
and the dust settled...
so far, havent heard anything from school yet. so i hope that no news means good news. at least the huge donation will not be withdrawn. yay for generous foundation! and good connections.
thailand trip was lovely, company was fantastic and we went on an insane shopping spree. if we could afford it, we would do it EVERY holiday. i miss feeling rich. and cabbing everywhere. and spending like there's no tmr i.e. without thought. yeaps... if only money grows on trees.
speaking of which, the treetop walk with my two lovely sisters is testiment to the fact that i NEED to exercise. what used to be a walk in the park is now an uphill trudge. and used to be was a mere two years ago. what happened to us??
and i need more excitement in my life. i appreciate all the people and things and constancies in my life. just that after a while, things start to become a bit blah. funny that i had so varying experiences this summer (which is ending in half a week for me); yet i'm still looking for that extra buzz and kick.