continuous narcissism and verbal diarrhoea
is my perceptions screwed for good? probably. but it's so easy to want to hide under a cocoon of perfection and pretend that ambiguities do not exist. nothing surprises me much anymore. which is a good thing cos when the really detrimental, shocking stuff comes snowballing at me, i'll be able to hold my shoulders high and fight the demons. one can only get stronger.
it is so easy to point your finger at others and be full of bitterness. not so easy to raise above it all. and i want to be the classy girl who is able to do this. getting there. slowly but surely.
ranking people according to importance is a sick, sick thing to do. all of us do it anyway. it's a whole world full of sick people.
i've fulfilled my do-one-scary-thing-a-day goal. at least today. and yes, someday down the road, i expect it to come back and bite me in my ass. i will worry about it then. wearing my heart on my sleeve (to a certain extent) and saying things that really bother me are not going to serve me so well in this PC society. but with whatever little youth and innocence society claim i have, i am going to abuse this power until i'm officially an adult. (time, you can stand still now!)
and at the end of the day, those who mattered still do. it's only in hope that they know they do.
jacq | 1:34:00 AM
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