pretend non-existence
due to my surface area and volume, i would think it is pretty difficult to pretend that i dont exist. but IT IS POSSIBLE. i was sidestepped, backfaced and ignored. if it wasnt for the fact that the door was opened for me, i would be inclined to believe that i somehow turned invisible in a mere three hours.
too much persistence is sometimes bad. i got what i wanted partially but at an unexpected cost.
and i was partially at fault in this so i will only feel partially guilty.
interesting enough, i was still offered bus fare, managed to borrow an ezlink card and receieved something that is more of a want than a need from the person i was fighting with.
which made me want to shout: point proven! can we get past this ridiculous nonsense already?
but i do know when to keep my mouth shut. once in a while.
as with all previous promises made, we will be okay. eventually. when someone gets over the being-pissed-off state of being.
the first physical exertion being paintball after godknowshowlong of inactivity is not something to be attempted. results: dozen headshots, another couple of shots at the fingers, one shot in the bum, inability to breathe properly for quite a while, A VERY BROKE me and a body that feels like it has been run over by a truck.
one comment struck me. and i realised i was the outlier who never played the game as a staff. i never felt out of place as making small talk is afterall essential in my field. and i am glad to be still included. which is probably why i miss being part of it.
it takes so much efforts to maintain ties, but days like yesterday made me feel that efforts should be made.
jacq | 11:08:00 AM
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