being there
it is my very nature to articulate. and it does make me wonder occasionally if words begin to lose their meanings if they are repeated too often. but there is no zero sum relationship between saying and feeling. funny how we keep within the confines of codes imposed on us by society. it is never about being deviant for deviance sake. it is about doing the things that matter to you even if frown upon by most.
i guess i just want to say "i love you" to the two guys. whom i somehow know will read this. for accepting me for who i am and never judging. for sticking by despite the disappearance of the crazylala optimistic aspects of me. for trying to make me laugh when i cry. for the times flying by when time is spent together. for remembering me during wee hours in the morning. for touching my heart in ways i will never forget. for being the darling and the dearie, just the way they are.
one day, when they find the girls of their dreams, they may have to walk away. after all, the silly rules in society make people doubt whether platonism or fragments of platonism exist. i will then look back on the faith, loyalty and friendships we share. and how their presence in my life changed me in more ways they can imagine.
jacq | 9:51:00 AM
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